I see old Stacey, that loud faced mother of three snot nosed pucker faced kids, getting her nails done for third time in a single week. She's getting stars sprayed onto them this time. Let me tell you, it looks like trash. Pure slut rubbish nails. And that stupid voice. That woman has a voice that could be used for CIA counter-terrorism. God awful voice. Sounds like spewing vomit being shot out of a goddamn trombone.
Anyway, she tells me that our mayor, you know the alcoholic that fucks his best friends' wives, doesn't like Portsmouth Square. As a matter of fact, he found it so dirty that he started picking up the trash himself with his soft little bureaucrat manicured hands. Apparently he found dead rats caressing the sand of the jungle gym and stale alcohol piss covering the toilet bows, trickling gently onto the cracked green tiles. A real fucking horror of a place. Just look!
Looks like a real mess. Well, the mayor sure is getting rid of the homeless, sending them to one day pitched white tents under some suburban sun where they hopefully will never find their way back to downtown. Then, we don't have to see any one legged heroin addicts dribbling frustrated spittle and proud diarrhea waste all over the rose covered concrete streets of San Francisco. What a farce.
Who the hell is surprised anyway? Is the whole city supposed to be as pristine as the fucking mayor's leathery swivel chair that probably has cum stained adornments nonetheless. This is public space right in the middle of Chinatown. Let there be some life in this city!
I want to see old Chinese men playing Xiangqi, battling like Shoalin warriors and covetously gambling under the radar. Hell, there should be a special word to denote the seriousness of chess and all its variations. 'Game' sounds too juvenile for it. I want to hear bombastic screaming about some cheater slyly moving the canon when it's not his turn and getting caught. That little bastard got caught and his face turned beet red! And I fucking want to see those mean faced women playing Mahjong until they forget to pick their grand kids up from school at high noon. And they don't care anyway, because Mahjong is great and the kids need to learn how to walk home from school without getting jumped and take care of themselves goddamnit.
Are there kids playing in the jungle gym? No. Not because there are rats in the sand, but because the jungle gym is plain shit. Let the homeless sleep there, at least somebody can get some use out of it.
Are there any people playing the ridiculously kitschy carnival games? Of course not. Because those games are archaically stupid and waste peoples' time. Even a five year old is smart enough to not want to throw a ball into a little jar to get a goldfish that would be better off living in the toilet in Trainspotting. And don't kids have fancy video games now anyway where they can dream up a dinosaur, strawberry field acid land where they can have sex with Mugwump fluff monster Clittasaureses?
This mayor sure as hell is some monkeycock. I know you're just waiting for the next opportunity to stare down some yuppyess' snake oil slicked breasts. This city is going to look like an airport terminal filled with lounge chairs and business class polished boots bullshit before you know it. I hate your spoiled, corrupt nasal leakage toting and Valium popping dream.
And I pissed on the toilet seat. And I'm a woman. I should get a fucking civic award.
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